More strange web searches.

Over the past 24 hours people have landed on this site searching for:

1. duck
2. lame
3. fart weather forecast
4. picture love neighbor

I guess it doesn’t matter how you get here but just that you did.

Cartoon of the day.

From Grandmere Mimi at Of Course I Could Be on Vacation.

Cartoon of the day.

OK, this one is not as releavant as it would have been a month ago,  but with my Lenten hiatus and then Easter, I’ve saved it for a couple of weeks.  The point is still a good one and the Pope’s position set my blood to boiling.

From Mr. Fish.

Cartoon of the Day.

Favorite Oscar Moment II.

Strange web searches.

I’m often intigued by some of the searches that land people on this blog, here are three from the past 24 hours that make my case:

1. women’s entertainment clubs in Minneapolis
2. lame
3. fart swounds.com

An oldie but goody from SNL.

Cartoon of the Day.

Photo of the Day. (The Old Fart Understands Edition.)

From Dave Walker.

How can you tell Jesus was black?

Larry Wilmore, from the Daily Show, has a list of 19 clues.  Here are some of my favorites.

Clue #1: From the moment of the immaculate conception, the question of “who the baby daddy” was already an issue.
I’m not saying this makes Jesus black, but without DNA testing in his time and no existence of a Maury Povich show, this open question brothafies him in my book.

Clue #5: He spoke in pre-Ebonics.
Blessed be the poor, blessed be the meek, etc., etc. These were even called the beatitudes. That’s a double bonus. It takes the black familiar use of “be” and couples it with “attitude.” And this doesn’t even take into account all the begats.

Clue #6: He had a large posse.
Even by today’s standards a 12-man posse is pretty big. In fact, some suggest the word “posse” is derived from “apostle.”

Clue #12: He may have been involved with a white girl.
There’s a very large following of believers who insist Jesus and Mary Magdalene may have been married and at the least might’ve had an affair. Here’s my take. You’re the son of God, the prince of peace, the most important person to ever walk the earth and you’re black. Of course, you’re going to have a white girl.

Clue #13: He had street cred.
Yeah, he was born poor. Yeah, he didn’t have a job. Yeah, he had a white girlfriend. But Jesus never really took off till one of his posse betrayed him and had him killed. Instant street cred.

Clue #19: No one knows where he is.
He said he’d be back but no one’s seen him for 2,000 years. If this isn’t like a brother, then I don’t know what.

I didn’t know there were that many.

The Old Fart’s Sunday Recommendations.

• Randall Balmer on The Daily Show, about God in the White House. (Click on the Randall Balmer segment in the “Coming Up Next” box.
• Paul Krugman on the impact of the centrist cuts in the stimulus plan. 600,000 fewer employed Americans. DAMN! I could be one of them.
• I know this is not the point of this NY Times story, but I thought it was interesting (in a weird sort of way) that Mike Tyson was once married to the sister of Michael Steele, the new GOP head.
• SNL’s Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi press conference. Sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves. “Maybe if we spent more money on education and sex ed the next generations won’t have so many stupid people…”
• Brad Gooch on Robert Rauschenberg and Jasper Johns, two artists whose work first got me interested in contemporary art.  In fact my first piece of real art I ever purchased was by Rauschenberg.
• And then there’s The Grammys tonight. I won’t watch but am always interested.

Get a sense of humor people.

Some people need to be less uptight and get a sense of humor. As my friend Chris would say, “now, that’s funny.”

“We were joking that now that he was out of office, he could do whatever he wants,” Mr. McKay said, “and so I said, ‘Let’s have him show his own penis,’ and Ferrell was like, ‘O.K.’ ”

“He is a frat boy, a big party guy, and you could imagine him doing this,” Mr. McKay added, describing Mr. Bush, who is 63. “Though I want to make clear I’m not blaming the president for our very bad taste.”

Republican answer to stimulate the economy.

From Jesus General

Cartoon of the Day. (I know how he feels edition.)

From Mr. Fish.

Dating tips for Christian men.

These tips from Landover Baptist Church (like the Onion for Christians, I think) is a hoot.  Especially tip #8.

8. SQUELCH YOUR PASSION
If you have not had a nightly emission before your date, make certain that you take extra precaution. Use an ace bandage or knitting yarn to tie your penis back against your stomach or underneath your hiney. If you tuck instead of tie, make sure that the tip of your penis does not curl back far enough to enter the hole in your hiney where you go poopy out of – otherwise you might accidentally sodomize yourself and inadvertently become a homosexual.

Sarah Silverman Says Goodbye to Bush.

See the good he’s done.

Way TMI.

I don’t think the Fox “expert” means “fisting.” Fist bumping maybe?

No smirking allowed.

I grew up in Pennsylvania and we are famous for some strange town names like Intercourse and Blue Ball, so this article on strange town and street names is a fun read. I’m sure my friend, MadPriest, has some he could add.

Headline of the Day.

Read the story here. Up until Tuesday, I knew how the poodle feels.